TRAVEL LOG - DAY to DAY

4.20

Depart SF around 5 p.m.

Mac slams 2 beers

Camp out at Harbin Hot Springs (i.e. serene hot springs for Bay Area-ites.)

Eat dinner at local brewpub in Middletown

Pass out next to bubbling creek in total bliss



4.21

Take an early dip in the baths

Eat a light breakfast

Give Mac Shiatsu treatment next to bubbling creek

Take another dip

Head up to Hopland and the Solar Center; have picnic

Drive through Jackson State Forest

Hike Casper Headlands and pygmy forest

Make camp at MacKerriche State Park, and indulge in a meal of pasta



4.22

Awake and hiked 10 miles of sand dunes

Pack up, drive up Hwy 1 to Humbolt Redwoods State Park and Avenue of the Giants

Hike the nature trails

Drop by Arcata's Co-Op and marvel at Eureka's disgust

Make camp at Prairie Creek at Redwood National and State Park



4.23

Wake up to oatmeal and tea

Hike 14.1 miles around Redwood State Park - West Ridge Trail to Friendship to Pioneer Trail

Discover Jenbalaya and 2nd smallest frog ever

Get a little sun- and beer-whipped. Explore town

Stay another night at Pioneer Trail



4.24

Awake to oatmeal, raisins, and wild elk roaming our grounds. RV people almost got attacked

Hike Lady Bird Johnson Trail in light drizzle

Pick up camp, drive to Crater Lake in Oregon. Made it to Oregon!

Crater Lake snowed in, but make it to Rimm Ridge to overlook the lake over lip of crater. 14-feet snow mounds make the journey cold and difficult

Make camp at Joseph Steward campsite at Lost Creek Lake on Rogue River - $10/night for campgrounds and free shower. We're in fucking heaven

Walk around, make pasta salad on warm evening. Campground almost uninhabited



4.25

Wake up, run 8 miles around Lost Creek Lake

Eat typical morning breakfast of oatmeal and raisins; weather warmed. Mac says every meal can be oatmeal

Pack it up, and head for lunch at Grady's Pass. Eat one of the worst bean burritos ever

Backtrack on the Rogue River to Sanuel H. Boardman Scenic Corridor

Hike to Harris Beach, rocks, and tidal pools - saw nada

Make camp at Harris Beach S.P. (surly, RV-ridden campground. $13/night)



4.26

Awake freezing, pissy due to late night RV entries. Move out fast

Hike Coast Trail (13-mile stretch of rugged beaches, coastal rocks, cliffs, hamlets, and conifers), starting at Cape Ferrelo

Check out Natural Bridges Cove

Travel up Hwy. 1 through Coos Bay (largest bay between SF and Seattle). Cool little harbor towns built along the bay

Make camp at Jessie M. Honeyman Memorial S.P. ($13/night), on northside of Oregon Dunes Recreational Area. Stay in ATV-prohibited area

Go into Florence and have fresh, wild seafood meal on the bay. Local, quaint town with wi-fi, good beer and seafood



4.27

Awake freezing-ass cold; take first cold shower (no hot water, dammit!)

Opt for breakfast in town due to freeze factor. Have bagel and coffee at local joint. Very local. Everyone knows each other and men played on Monopoly-sized cribbage board.

Hike oregon Dunes Natl. Rec. Area. Mammoth mountains of sand. Strangely, trees grew in dunes, along with gargantuan, biting flies

Run into RV, ATV camp; bizarre slice at true ugly Americanisms

Pack up and head to Cape Perpetua - a 3+-mile, high-trek hike. Offers the best vantage point of Oregon (800 meters above sea level). Tremendous, panoramic vies of untouched, rugged coast and coniferous forests falling into the ocean

Try driving North to Lincoln City, only to be disappointed by no campsites and overly advertised tourist town. Turn around to Newport and South Beach State Park.

Campsite offered no tent sites, so pay extra $4 for hookups in RV slot. Ridden with RVs, yurts, and an odd Christian youth group singing modern-day versions of cum-baya

Opt for another seafood dinner. Wrong choice - Mos.
But have beer at original Rogue Brewery in Newport. Fine, fine idea.



4.28

Awake, go for hike along beach. Decide to run despite cold weather. Nice run. Zero people on beach and jetty

Pack it up after typical desayunos, and drive up toward Cape Lookout and Three Capes Point, which (absurdly enough) provides handfuls of cape towns, huge rock formations, and rolling countryside. So far, my favorite part of Oregon coastline

Stop for a beer (rich, smooth IPA) at Pelican Brewery at Pacific City

Continue on on to Tillamook Cheese Company. Check out production facility and eat free samples.Curd wins

Make camps at Oswald West State Park. Must hike down to campsite with gear. S.P. provides wheelbarrows for the journey, which are all in use by the time we arrive. So we huff back and forth with our stuff. Lush campsite and isolation from the road are great. Total surfer camp, filled with young partiers and hikers



4.29

Awake after being woken up intermittently throughout night by young revelers screaming and partying. Hike to surfer beach, where we find early-morning adults and youths clamming. We learn how, which is very easy: Look for plum-sized dimple in sand, then dig. You'll find clams

Walk farther down beach to tidal pools. Magellan-sized find - scores of starfish, anemone, live coral. Explore and gape

Discuss whether or not to collapse revelers tents. Opt out, but decide to leave "little fucker" note for them instead

Travel to Astoria and Columbia River Gorge. Visit Maritime Museum

Eat at Subway 30 miles outside of Portland. A bit sketchy

Make it in to Portland in pouring rain. Check in at Days Inn City Center. My stomach feels upset

Meet friends in town - Eastern Portland; go to brewery, where I yak and yak from food poisoning or maybe stomach flu



4.30-5.2

Recoup from food poisoning, then check out town, hang out with good friends

Portland highlights: Austinish, circa 1990. Super cool, happy, hip town with multiple neighborhoods, liberal thinkers, loads of green space. City of roses, town of patios, good beer, chill peeps, green, mountainous views, and thriving



5.3

Leave Portland and Suz. Sad but excited to get going again

Head North on 5 to Mt. Rainier National Park. Views of the park on the drive hint at a snowy, high-altitude hikes

Take southside road to entrance - bad idea. Road closed due to weather, although no sign alerts us to road closure for 41 miles out

Turn around and attempt to enter park on westside. It works, but the only open campsite is being repaved. We're fucked again

Drive, circle, drive, circle. Finally decide on staying at cabins on outskirts of Rainier. All lodges tout overpriced rates, but Sandy offers outdoor picnic tables and hospitality

Eat camp food, drink wine at lodge. We're happy. Large, mini-bear-sized raccoon tries to steal our food. We engage in a ninny battle. Pass out in warm bed; only tenants at cabins for the evening



5.4

Awake and take it slow to get up. Enjoy oatmeal/raisins outside under warm sun

Talk with Sandy for awhile, then head up to Longmire Ranger Station (only R.S. open this time of year). Find out we're pretty much snowed out, but some trailheads open

Hike Rampart Ridge Trail 5-mile loop. Shows varying forest/rocks/ridge/water topography. Moderate, elevation hike where we get a great view of the mountain and valley. Hit thickets of snow, which we tromp through slowly

Picnic, then hike Carter Falls 2.5-mile trail. We cross large rock formations and rivers, hike through snow to glimpse strong, 40-foot high falls.

Leave Mt. Rainier since no more hiking to do without hitting snow

Spend night at Best Western SeaTac, on outskirts of Seattle. Smokers room - bad choice



5.5

Awake, try to use "fitness room." Get dressed, get out

Move to Dash Point S.P. campgrounds. Ahhh. Now we're happy to be back outside in Dewey, our tent

Drive to Seattle, visit tourist info center. This shouldn't be missed. See the sites - Pike Fish Market, Experience Music Project, Sci-Fi museum, Space Needle, Capitol Hill, UW. Seattle's big. It's bustling. It's water town

Eat and crash out in Dewey. Awake in middle of night to prepubescent boy screaming obscenities to friends. The peace of outdoors



5.6

Hike around Dash Point, situated beside Puget Sound

Pack it up, head North on HWY 5 to Tsawwassen, B.C. Wait in immigration for 45 minutes. Don't even have to show passports. We could stay in Canada forever without anyone knowing

Make the 3 p.m. ferry to Victoria. Drive Charlie on the car ferry. Rain has finally stopped

Arrive in Vancouver Island around 5 p.m., and go searching for campsites. Finally reach French Beach, near Soote in pouring rain around 8:30 p.m. Exhausted and frustrated, crash out in spartan yurt (after drinking wine and eating bad, stinking cheese)

Read a little, feel something drop on head. Flick it to Mac's side of the bed. He yells, "what the fuck was that?" It ended up being a yellow jacket, which stung him. Oops

We fall asleep



5.7

Awake to pouring rain, eat breakfast of champions, and pack up. Campground only provides pit toilets

Weather clears as we drive into Victoria. Reserve room at HoJo next to Galloping Goose Trail

Take run on trail to downtown Victoria. It's beautiful

Shower, walk trail to downtown. Check out giant totem poles, B.C. museum, wharf, Parliament buildings. It's Europe with an American flair

Grab a drink, head back to room, and cook dinner



5.8

Awake to warm room at HoJo, and eat cold cereal for once. Variation is nice

Go for a run around Galloping Goose Trail to Swan Lake. The bums seem really nice around the area

Come back, read, and chill

Take a walk to downtown Victoria, visit park and wax museum. Get a two-hour free history lesson from museum employee on parliament, politics, etc. of Canada. Walk out more knowledgeable about Commanding history, not wax anatomy

Eat dinner at home



5.9

Wake up, clean up, drive to Tofino, extreme northwest town on island - 5 hours from Victoria

Pass enormous cedar, pines, hemlock forests; bays, harbors, inlets, running streams; islands speckling the horizon. The views are magnificent

Outside of Pacific Rim National Park, pass black bear hanging over guardrail. Holy shit! We swerve, miss him, and ogle the beautiful beast

Make camp at Crystal Cove campground - private campsite with internet access, free hot showers, and a reading room. This is how camping should be

Walk 4 km to Tofino. Small, idyllic town full of B&Bs, motels, crab depots, and marine adventure tours. But where's the bar? Walk all over small hamlet to find only bar sits beneath Days Inn. So drink Spring beer on deck overlooking dock. Good God the scenery! I've never seen anything like it. Forested islands dot the horizon. The water is clear blue, sea lions pop to the surface, and boats and seaplanes can be heard in the distance

Walk back to camp and sleep through night



5.10

Owww! I awake to a pinched nerve. Dammit. I get up anyway, take a hot shower, and attempt to enjoy breakfast of champions

Hike around Pacific Rim National Park, a U.N. biosphere 30 km south of Tofino. This park offers one of the only remaining temperate rain forests in the world. Short boardwalk trails (the longest is 5 km roundtrip) provides insight to extremely diverse and exotic area. We walk the rainforest trails, bog trails, and shoreline trails. Each area offers something unique, like thick old growth forests falling into the Pacific; spongy, small cyprus trees; and 10km of coastline (at Long Beach). Along with black bears, cougars, wolves, sea lions, bald eagles, and gray and humpback whales, we realize what a special place this is

During the hikes, I hold my face up with my hand. I'm in extreme pain and hang out while Mac visits more trails. We head back to camp, where Mac feeds me while I drink a whole bottle of wine to diminish my ailments. It doesn't work. Around 2:30 a.m., I awake to a screeching headache and what I believe are bear paws. I'm not sure which is worse. Chug water and fall back to sleep after an agonizing hour of imagining big bears foraging our camp



5.11

Awake to a sore - albeit manageable - back. Walk to town, grab coffee, and head over to Seascapes Adventures, where we've arranged a day sea kayaking tour

Tour includes 7 kayakers and two guides. After a brief overview and getting into gear (which consists of a ridiculous-looking, cumquat outfit), we head to sea, in two-man kayaks. Mac takes the captain helm, in charge of steering the rudder. I take the boss power position, where I get to yell directions and pump us around

The morning current easily drifts us toward Meares island. Along the way, we enjoy the crystal clear waters, thickly covered islands, bald eagles, and ocean life. The guides give us a history and nature lesson, including how the area was once in danger of being logged. However, due to the huge tribal outcry, the Pacific Rim area was saved (which consequently is also why there are no bars on the island, Mac learns later from some Canadians).

Reach Meares Island, where we hike around, and eat snacks on the beach. The group is made up of mostly Brits, one Aussie, and us. It's roudy, outgoing, and shamefully fun

Head back in a pretty strong headwind, where we use all our strength to fight the current and white caps. It's great. We row over waves, beside huge islands, and migrating sandpiper flocks. We're drenched, but don't feel cold. We feel high and alive

Finish the tour with tea and a walk back to camp, where we take warm showers, and go to the only pub for another drink. One of my favorite days yet



5.12

Get up, run around reserve, pack up.

Drive to Horseshoe Bay, take 3 p.m. ferry to Vancouver

Stay night at BCRV - yep, an RV camp outside of Vancouver - in Barnaby. Although tent sites aren't open, we get to stay. The RV camp is pretty pimp. Includes free, hot showers, fitness center, hot tub, heated pool, free wi-fi, hiking/running trails. We check out weird, elder RV scene - comprised of white baby boomers. Apparently, RVs in Canada are a big deal as most plates come from BC.



5.13-5.15

Enjoy the sites in Vancouver, spend each night at BCRV camp. Visit islands, Stanley Park, Yaletown, Gastown, Pacific Spirit Pk, University of BC, and New Westminister.

Vancouver is a remarkably picturesque town with mountains, water, and huge parks all within arms reach. But where are the neighborhood joints? It seems like a huge sprawling and green city without many cool local establishments. We tromp all over town looking to no avail. Still, Vancouver gives us a good glimpse into Canada's chill, friendly, scenic lifestyle.

Pack up camp at BCRV (we're gonna miss you crazy RV holiday resort), and head east. Oh my god. This country resembles one gigantic national park. The highway (3E) carves through towering mountains, abound with snow and coniferous forests. They drape into running streams, lakes, and rivers. It's like parts of Oregon exploded - the Disneyland of vistas. We find out that BC, about 1 1/2 times the size of Texas, holds just 1/8 Texas' population. It's isolated, grandiose, and hypnotic. Most of the drive, we stare enthralled.

Finally, we come to Osoyoos, heart of BC's desert region. There's a desert region in BC? You betcha. It's hot (say 28 degrees Celsius). Watch-for-bear signs are replaced by watch-for-rattlesnakes innuendo. Forested, snow-capped mountains turn into stripped, brazen ones. People walk around in shorts, and adobe-style houses flank the scenes. It's New Mexico in Canada. We love it! Make camp at holiday campsite off lakeshore drive, right next to dammed-up lake beside running stream. We're all alone - no other campers. We eat and drink happily, and pass out with our tent screens open to welcome to the hot night.



5.16

Wake up, eat cold cereal for once in celebration of heat. Take 5 km walk to town, and walk with Bev, local Osoyoos resident, who dislikes tourists but offers nothing but typical Canadian graciousness toward us. We get the insider scoop about the heat (it's year round hot here), the lack in zoning laws (the town's getting torn up alright), and the hike in real estate prices (think retirement Mecca for Canadians)

We get to town, rent kayak, and row around lake. Mayflies, which look an awfully lot like mosquitoes, swarm and land on us like flies on shit. This cuts the kayak trip short, so we walk back to our camp without a bite on us (mayflies don't suck blood)

By now, it's damn hot - nearing 30 degrees and climbing. We apply, reapply suntan lotion. Eat lunch, go back to town, explore local wineries, and eat late dinner back at camp. Pass out



5.17

Wake up, go for scorching run (even at 6:45 a.m.) to town and back. Pack up, grab coffee, head out for long drive in anticipation of reaching states.

Reach BC/Idaho border. Border crossing harder coming back. Patrol officer almost nabs our fruits/vegetables from Canada. We slide by, and keep heading south until reach Montana

Make camp at Flathead Lake, largest freshwater lake west of Mississippi. Lake is runoff from Glacier National Park. It's lovely. Campsite is so-so.



5.18

Break camp, and get drive-through espressos, one of the best things we've found during our journey. WA, MT, OR, and CA offers these drive-through bars, but not CA. What gives?

Head south, and make it to Missoula, MT, home of University of Montana. Town shares many characteristics to Columbia, MO, my alma mater town. Quaint, small, situated on three riverbeds. And it's hot - record heat in fact. Glacier has been surging water and avalanches due to the intense sun. Another sign of global warming on this journey

Walk around and decide to try Mexican for dinner. Have cheap, typical college town meal. Too many beans. After dinner, try to walk off beans. See herd of kayakers playing on rapids on Clark Fork River, which bisects town. Make it back to camp for fitful night of sleep. Get woken by rain and hollers from crazy cat-bird-like creature



5.19

Still getting over bean-heavy dinner, make light breakfast. Let food settle, then run on trails along Clark Fork River. It's not so hot today, and the run proves wonderful.

Handle boring chores - laundry, tune up, etc.

Head to Moose Droole Brewing Co., and enjoy free beer tastings.

Eat dinner, pass out.



5.20

Wake up to rain. Pack up and travel south to Yellowstone. Yeah!

Swing through Bozeman, home of Montana State University. The town is pretty cool, young, and hippie like. Grab lunch in town. Make it to Yellowstone around 4 p.m., so we set up camp at base in Mammoth Springs. The grizzly signs scare us (ok, me), but that doesn't deter us from setting up camp.

Hike around Liberty Cap - stacked formations of limestones and fossilized iron deposits. Take nature drive toward Tower/Roosevelt.

Pick up Mark of the Grizzly novel at Yellowstone Ranger Station. Finish chapter in tent after dinner about wild grizzly attacking six campers in Yellowstone.



5.21

Wake up at 1:10 a.m. scared out of my mind. Can I get over the fear of the last grizzly chapter? Is there one in the camp, even though the chances are slim to none? Hmmm. Nope. Can't sleep. I'm freaking. Wake up Mac, and we move to the car for three hours as I get over my fear. But my god, the sky! It's huge. I've never seen so many stars. We're swallowed up by them. They appear to be touching the ground. Will I walk on them on the way to the car? Or run into a grizzly? Neither happens. Wake up in car and move back to tent at 4:30 a.m. as the birds start chirping and light dawns.

Decide I don't camp with grizzlies. Black bears, sure, but grizzlies are too unpredictable. I test Mac's patience once again. He endures.

Wake up around 7:30 a.m., and head out on nature drive. We see moose, tons of bison, elk, yellow-bellied marmots, and much much more.

Head back to camp, pack up, and set out for hikes. Many trail heads and areas are closed due to grizzly-heavy activity. Choose Lava Creek Trail. Start out on this 7.5 mile hike. Begins at creek, following water and shrubs. Beautiful grasslands and speckled mountains surround us. About 1 mile in, we come upon a pack of wolves. "Wolf!" I yell. Mac and I slowly back off. So do the wolves. We walk sideways, pick up rocks, and make lots of noise. Exhilarating! Wildlife at all corners really heightens the senses.

Take another trail - Beaver Ponds. 5.5 mile trail offers great depiction of Yellowstone - yellow stones, falls, caldera, meadows, thin forests, beaver lake, and shrubby grasslands. It's great. We make lots of noise on the hike to avoid bears. But we see some bear scat along the way. Always on the lookout.

Head back to Gardin, town at base of Yellowstone, and get hotel room. Remember, I don't camp with grizzlies.

Clean up and head out for our night nature drive. Wow! The valleys, grasslands, sheer rocks are beautiful. We see loads of bison, elk, etc. On the way to the falls, we run into a sow black bear and her two cubs eating on the side of the road, which is already littered with other oglers. It looks like the press corps for god's sake! Tourists with 200 mm telescopes and cameras line the side of the road to get shots of the uncaring bear. We feel a little dirty by doing the same thing. Luckily, a ranger's there.

Head back to town, eat our first meal of pizza, and go to sleep peacefully - like a cub



5.22

Wake up and drive south to Old Faithful. Revere the diverse views. Enter Old Faithful Village, which is surprisingly busy for the Monday before Memorial Day. Check into a Cabin at the lodge (still following the no camping with grizzly rule).

Visit Ranger Station, who says most trails are closed due to grizzly activity - again. Apparently, like in Mammoth, there are a lot of bison and elk carcasses.

Walk circuit of geysers and hot springs around Old Faithful. Sure, Old Faithful is cool, but there are many more spectacular ones. My favorite is about 2 miles north of Old Faithful on the trail. Its hues of greens, blues, pinks, and oranges run about 40 feet deep. We take another unpaved trail to Biscuit Basin. This trail is a bit sketchy, so we talk a lot, hoping to ward off a grizzly encounter.

Follow the trail back as the weather turns. We're downwind, which isn't good in bear country. But everything's ok. The geysers are wonderful. Get into car and see the rest of the geysers and hot springs - all shedding unique colors, smells, and sizes.

Finish the evening with salads and beer at the lodge.



5.23

Wake up to cold, rainy weather. We've taken all the trails open in Yellowstone, so decide to head South to Grand Teton after watching Old Faithful blow one last time.

On the drive south, we climb. The snowpack increases. We pass craggy forests, frozen lakes, rugged canyons, and then settle upon Teton. The Tetons shoot upward, unencumbered by foothills, on the Western Divide. They're sharp, snow-capped mounds of magnitude. We enter the southside, and visit the Jenny Lake Ranger Station. Again, most high-altitude (or even low-altitude) trails are snow covered, but we can hike around Jenny Lake. We decide to wait until tomorrow.

Drive farther south to Jackson, the town under Jackson Hole. It's richly laid out, accustomed to rich tourists and snow goers. Run 7 mile trail around Snake River in Jackson. The elevation nearly kills us.

Enjoy leisurely rest of day, walking round town, drinking beer, reading books.



5.24

Wake up, and head to Teton to hike my namesake lake. Dripping water, the glaciers surrounding Jenny snakes downward into crystal blue. Granite rock and sandstone mark the glaciers around the 8-mile loop trail. We encounter bear scat on the way there. Then we walk across the roaring river and up the falls. This lake has got everything, including handfuls of marmots. It's a perfect hiking day - clear skies and clear lake. Unfortunately, it's also the most populated trail in the Tetons, and we run into loads of hikers who took the boat across to the falls.

Leave Jenny Lake after a good 3 1/2-hour hike. Drive to Wind River Indian Reservation, where we visit Sacajawea Grave and see what life on a Native American reservation is like. In Wyoming, it's pretty sad. We took everything from the Shoshones, and gave them back a sliver of really crappy land. Damn us.

After feeling a little guilty, slovenly, and hot, we head to Sinks Canyon where, outside of the Native American Reservation, water flows again. Damn us.

Popo Agie River (pronounced popo shew) cuts the campground. We find a campsite beside this fast-moving water, and have to nearly yell at each other to hear over it. One of my top five campsites so far. Granite peaks and large boulders flank the grounds. Rock and water. Can't beat it.

We eat dinner, and Mac whoops my ass twice playing cribbage. I'm deflated and go to bed listening to water.



5.25

Wake up, fix breakfast, and walk on highway down to the Sinks, where water from the Popo Agie flows into a cave and literally disappears for two hours until it reemerges about 1/2 mile downstream. Geologists believe the water enters small canals and shoots - made from the same glacier that created its source - until it reenters the river again downstream. This is pretty cool.

We hike around Sinks Canyon, see wonderful sagebrush, wildflowers, and a few garden snakes. Then, we leave for the Flaming Gorge. Along the way south to Utah, we realize why Wyoming is the 50th most populated state. It looks and feels like Kansas on acid. Nothing's around. All I think as I drive is, "This is not where I wanna die. This is not where I want to die." We enter Utah, unscathed.

Enter Flaming Gorge National Recreation Area which, like its name connotes, is a huge gorge surrounded by red rock. We spend the night at Deer Run because there's a shower. We haven't showered in days and smell of rancid milk and dusty feet. Ohh the shower feels good. The camp hosts are super nice. We fall asleep with Mac reading Dean Koontz' Velocity.



5.26

Wake up, eat oatmeal plus a sprinkle of granola for variation, and head out in search of a long run. The best we can find is about five miles of rocky terrain. The elevation still hurts, and we cough and wheeze after a torturous go at it.

Take another shower. Ohh. This feels good in the dust. Pack up and head south to Dinosaur National Monument, which Woodrow Wilson tried to make into a National Park in 1915, only to be dismayed by the Carnegies and Congress. So it sits as a National Monument instead. The 800 acres of focalized sand dunes, red rock, and limestone reveal Jurassic age dinosaur fossils. Unfortunately, the carnegies, represented by a paleontologist removed many of the dinosaur fossils, but many still remain.

Hike around desert valley. View petroglyphs. Don't hike long because it's dusty and windy. Oh, and it's in the desert.

Drive to Vernal, pick up groceries for dinner at Jubilee, the local grocer. I've never received so many stares before. Girls look me up and down like I'm a slab of salami at a vegan bar. Is it the tat? Is it the hair? Is it the dirt? What gives. We try to find hummus, but that's too much to ask. We settle on avocado and lettuce. The checkout lady takes 15 minutes fumbling for the right code for all our fruits and vegetables. Meanwhile the guy behind us, getting a box of donut holes for dinner, sighs impatiently. Back in the parking lot, we can barely find our car in the pool of SUVs. Ohh Utah.

Make camp at the KOA (our second round at Kampground of America). Why the K, we'll never know.

Fix dinner, down some beer, then head out to find a bar playing the mavericks game. We're in Vernal, mind you - Mormon territory. Finding a bar is like finding Bush reading. But alas! It's not impossible. We step into the Brew Haus, our new sanctuary for the next four hours. It's super cool. According to the New York carekeeper (he calls himself this), this is just about the only place to buy beer in town. About five times throughout the night, he warns us of the po-po in town. We heed his advice and don't drink too much. The California plates aren't welcomed here.

Pass out to loads of KOA kampers around us.



5.27

Wake up, pick up camp, and head the hell out of Vernal toward Zion National Park. We pass flat countryside, American flags lining the interstate, and dusty small towns. This doesn't look promising for finding a beer in the next 2 weeks.

We make it into Zion National Park, which immediately floors us with its grand sandstone formations and checkerboard and ribboned rock. It's Memorial Day weekend (which explains the flags, we hope), so all the campsites are booked. We have a hell of a time finding a place to pitch our tent. But Mac hears about the bureau of land trust, which offers free campsites. We find it and make camp. Free lodging!

Walk to Zion visitor center, pick up backcountry permit, and eat/drink in Springdale (outskirts of Zion). The polygamy porter ain't bad. Crash out in our dusty - albeit free - campsite, where young Latinos kick up the dusty dirt with their ATVs. Pass out to four-wheelin' fun in reckless - albeit free - campsite.



5.28

Wake up, pick up camp fast, and head back to Zion visitor center. Get our packs ready for a 3-day long journey to the high country.

Eat a little breakfast, say goodbye to Charlie, and trek up the eastside of Zion National Park - Grotto Trail. We pass Angels Landing, red rock, and sandstone clusters. It's breathtaking. Two miles up, we finally lose the crowd and enter high country. We've reserved campsite 1, which is only 4.5 miles up, so we decide to book it to campsite 8. We trek the West Rim Trail, which overlooks peaks and canyons 8,000 feet high. Wildflowers - daisies, blue flowers, and cactus - are all in bloom. The views are magnificent.

It's hot. There's no water. But we reach campsite 8, 9 miles in. We're pretty beat. Unload our packs around 4, and spread out. Find watering hole. Thank God, because we're out of water in the desert. Eat pasta and pesto ravishingly. Deer feeding by us. Play cards, then crawl into the tent around 9. That's when we hear the herd of girls coming our way. They've reserved campsite 8 (oops), so we're in the way. Oh well, we decide to share the small space. They make lots of hostile noise, while we pretend to sleep like little bunniesw as they ramble on about nothing. We finally pass out, as I hear one of the girls say she's gonna leave her dishes out unclean that night. Uh-oh.



5.29

Wake up around midnight to something eating just outside our tent. Big surprise, with the girls' dirty dishes and all. It sounds big, but I assume it's a deer. Mac even hears it, who never hears shit through the night. We manage to sleep regardless.

Wake up with the sun, and move our camp away from the loud girls. Eat breakfast, then take an 8-mile hike to the end of the line (Lava Point). It isn't noteworthy, except for the horny toads. Return to camp, pack up, and strap on the pack for the 4.5-mile trek to campsite 1. We arrive, exhausted. Unload, eat, and pass out before 9 p.m. It was a rough, long, hot, wonderfully exhaustive day



5.30-5.31

Wake up and hike to base camp, crash out at KOA Eat at Applebees', only place that serves.

Next morning, pack to West part of Zion. It's less crowded. We only see backpackers. Drop our gear at our site, which sits adjacent to running water. Since dust envelops the area, a nice bath sounds good for later. But it's still early in the day, so we head out to see the natural arch. Hiking over boulders, rocks, and unmarked areas, we finally reach the overly anticipated and under-impressed arch. We turn around, and hike back to camp. So far, putting in a good 10-day pack.

Upon returning to site, we notice an infestation of little, grey biting insects. Which we later learn are midges. They bite, and their sharp teeth dig into our warm flesh with surprising fierceness. We spout out "ouches" upon each nasty bite, equivalent to a bee sting. So we weigh the options of either spending the next 15 hours beside the nasty midges or spending two torturous hours hiking back to the car and making camp at the KOA. We choose the latter, pack it up, and make a grueling death march back to the camp, with an eye out for mountain lions (it's sunset in the desert) and trying to keep ourselves upright.

We actually return in one piece, even though I almost lose it during the last mile in. We're really exhausted, but reach KOA unscathed (minus a few pussing blisters). And again, we return to Applebees for a large meal (after showering off the encrusted dirt). We eat until our jaws get tired and have a marvelous sleep.



6.1-6.13

During this period, we explore the rest of Utah national parks. Michel joins us at the RV resort park in Moab, Utah, where we set up base camp while exploring Arches Natl Park and try to endure the scorching heat of the summer desert.

Arches Natl Park: It's a small park with short trails, but if you're here to see how erosion, water, faults, and sentiment form interesting upside-down Us, this quells your desires. Engage in some early and evening hikes where the natural arches collect shadows of mountains, fins, and skyscraping red rock. Highlights: The Delicate Arch, the Parliament Arch. The diamondback taking a mid-afternoon nap. Moab's tolerance, watering holes, and organic foods. Especially Zak's pizza.

Canyonlands Natl Park: Like the Grand Canyon but redder. It draws a smaller crowd but offers spectacular views. Canyons in canyons, cut by the mighty Colorado. It's cooler than Arches, but it's still hot. Hike into the canyon - more like bouldering than hiking. Leave after encounter another midge infestation.

Bryce Canyon Natl Park: Extraordinary. Filled with spiraled sandstones called hoodoos, resembling pieces of a chessboard. Hues of oranges, reds, pinks, purples, yellows offset by green trees, blue skies. At a higher elevation than the other parks (albeit Zion), Bryce gives us temperate weather. Spend most time hiking northern part of park, where most hoodoos dwell. Hike story-booked named trails, like fairyland trail, rim trail (passing sunset pint, sunrise point, inspiration point), down into Queen's garden, and the Navajo trail. The hoodoos resemble widdled pencils made them from clay, then splashed with fiery colors. It's a small park, but worth a journey back.



6.14-6.21

We spend most of the next week in hotels and at friends' pads in SoCal. First stop: Vegas. Get a good scrubbing at the new Hooter's casino and hotel. It's quite nice, other than the Spring Break-like pool and bar. Plus, they pay plastic girls to hang out in bikinis by the pool. That's a good way to encourage me to hit the gym. Spend the next night at the Flamingo, where we score a suite. What a waste on two campers. Win $50 bucks at the casino. Spend the rest of the Vegas trip pampering ourselves, enjoying syn.

Drop by Hoover Dam. It's big, but the bigger crowds spoil the trip. Turn around and head back to Cali, which we've missed desperately. Especially the cultural acceptance levels. Also the weather and ocean. Even SoCal, an area I like to discount, gives me great pleasure. Love the visit to Venice Beach with sister Jill. Eat, drink, be merry.

On south the San Diego, stay with Seeley and Breck in their ultra-swag suburban environment. Then head over to Tempe to see the schools and assess its livability. On the way (we take the Mexican border route), pass by a family of immigrants getting arrested. What a drag. They actually succeed in crossing the desert in summer heat (it's 110 degrees now) only to get arrested by gringos in big hats. I guess the cops don't buy cheap strawberries like the rest of us.

In Tempe, Mac and I run from the ferocious heat. It's oppressive. We're depressive. Spend most days from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m. in our small hotel room watching movies and taking siestas. But it's not the heat which really gets us down. It's also the area. Tempe teems with commercialization. You've got your standard Chili's, Ruby Tuesdays, and strip malls engulfing the area. And everyone's wearing polos and sipping bud light. We visit Scottsdale, because we've heard a lot of good things about the town north of Tempe. It's over hyped. Sure, Scottsdale seems pretty nice, if you're Caucasian, like over-using resources to keep fertile grass, and drive to swanky restaurants under the auspices of Chili's, Ruby Tuesday's, and Ra Sushi. We decide Tempe ain't for us, even if it looks perfect on paper. Maybe the heat hypnotized our friends into developing a penchant for the area. Or maybe we're just stuck-up San Franciscans who like soulful cities. Out we go. Charlie smiles upon us.



6.21 (longest day of the year)

Leave Tempe, driving north to Flagstaff trying to gain a little elevation and beat the heat. It works. Cacti turn to ponderosa pines. We find the local KOA, and pitch a tent. It's good to be back in filth. On the drive, we pass the Sodona inferno. Fires emblazon Arizona. Meteorologists call for the hottest summer ever in the area. Another sign of global warming?

After eating bad Thai (what were we thinking?), we settle for drinks at the Hotel Weatherford, an old, rickety hotel built in the early 1900s. The cool breeze sweeps over our sun-crusted bodies as young people drink and smoke. Finally, a little character in Arizona.

Crash out at the KOA in the Cococino National Forest



6.22

Awake and try to revert to our oatmeal breakfast. I finish half a cup before almost barfing. Why'd I think this mushy stew was so good again? Finish the meal with a Clif bar.

Hike up the Cococino mountains, in KOA's backyard. We climb steadily uphill, probably 1500 feet before reaching lookout point, a good spot to view the fire's haze, San Francisco mountains, and downtown Flagstaff. Return to camp and pack up.

Drive to Petrified Forest Natl Park and the Painted Desert. Hike Blue Mesa, cone-like mounds colored in blue, grey, white, and red stripes. Iron and carbon fused the colors over time. It's pretty amazing. Every group of people we pass (a 1-mile loop mind you), asks the same question, "Is it worth it?" It's a 1-mile jaunt for God's sake. Are you crazy? We've heard this question over and over again during our trip. We're talking one mile people, not a day at Disneyland, a place most people wouldn't flinch at passing. But when it comes to nature, a 20-minute hike must be pondered. I answer, "it's always worth it." Mac answers something less derogatory.

Spend night at Gallup, specifically at El Rancho historic hotel. It's Navajo country, and movie stars built this hotel for screening purposes.